Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
