Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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