My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
