we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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