i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
high people should be assigned attendants
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
