Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
