who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
