I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
