I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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