I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
