You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
