but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
