Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Damn victory sex feels great
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
