I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
