Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
