Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize