My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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