There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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