he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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