So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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