WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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