can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
