ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
