Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
