What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
