I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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