I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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