The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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