shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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