susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
