then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize