he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
