no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
