hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
