butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Randomize