girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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