guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
