Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
