I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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