I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
