I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
