it wasn't lemon gatorade
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
