Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
