The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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