Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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