i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
