windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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