I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
