He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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