She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
