he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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