I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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