Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
