I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
