you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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