Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
