I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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