That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
