If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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