Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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