But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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