My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am available for nakedness
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
