So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
