so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
