All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
